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The Lumpy Loveseat Chronicles Part II: The Lumpbotomy

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Ahoy, #JohnsArmy! Considering all the looting and piracy afoot, that seems the proper greeting for the second part of the LLC (that’s Lumpy Loveseat Chronicles, not Limited Liability Company). Lumpy’s liabilities are as unlimited as his appetite, and the company he keeps (and the companies he keeps) are as crooked as Nancy Pelosi’s dental plate.

We’ll revisit Aunt Nan shortly, and discuss her Lumpy connection. And by Lumpy connection, I’m not referring to the bile duct attached to her Cirrhocis-ridden liver; I mean her connection to Lumpy Loveseat/Matt Couch, and whether the two of them were in communication on – or leading up to – the events that took place January 6.

Before we begin, I feel it my duty to inform you there is currently an APB out on Lumpy. Distinguished
“Professor” Matt Couch has up and disappeared, and that is no small feat! Unfortunately, his face wouldn’t fit on a milk carton. The esteemed educator was suddenly and curiously replaced by “Guru” Matt Couch only days ago.

What happened, Professor? Did you lose your tenure? Was it the real Professor Matt Couch who did, in fact, insist you desist to exist as a phony philosopher?

Here’s another Matt Couch who tweeted emphatically that folks not confuse him with you…

So you’re a guru now. Let’s take a look at what that word means.

Which version of guru do you identify as, Mr. Loveseat? Are you a personal spiritual leader in the Hindu and Buddhist traditions, or are you an influential expert on some particular issue? From this tweet, it seems you consistently consider yourself a “teacher”:

This public service announcement is a REMINDER: We are to understand that it is “no longer” his job to wake up or educate the sheep. Let me remind YOU, Lumpy… It was never your “job” to educate. Professing Professorship doesn’t make you a teacher any more than hanging around with cops in a donut shop makes you a police officer. In your own mind, you have been promoted to Lion Waker-Upper. How does that old saying go? Those who can, do. Those who can’t pretend they can by making up authoritatively non-existent teaching positions and comparing themselves to the King of the Jungle who’s responsible for rousing the pride’s pride? Something to that effect. Mine is the extended director’s cut version of that old saying.

Who made this? 🙂

Here’s another old tried and true saying:

Let’s talk about some of your compadres, Lump. We’ll start with Beardo. You may remember him from LLC Part I. He was the one tweeting out Bob Seger comms in tandem with Queen of Ho-ho-hopium, SantaSurfing (I will further address other potential comms in this article, as well as what Santa’s “beard” may really be covering). In the following self-retweeted tweet, you attack a United States veteran for simply describing what you do to make money:

Here you advertise one of your “business partners” from the 1776 Forever Free Foundation.

Cue the 1776 communications, some of which lead straight through the busted out Capitol windows…

Why have you distanced yourself from Ali Akbar/Alexander, a man you were “honored to stand with” in Atlanta eight short months ago? Dude was definitely on the 1776 dog whistle bandwagon, as exhibited here:

Rumors continue to swirl about Akbar being an FBI plant and informant. Who knows? He sure fits the bill, and he sure has been lying low these days. Is that rat I smell? And we know where there is one rat, there are bound to be more. Which puts one in mind of another of Clumpy’s pals, Proud Boys Chairman Enrique Tarrio. Quite a progression, right?

Here you can see Lumpy defending Tarrio and saying he didn’t do anything wrong; he was simply the fall guy taking the blame in the name of patriotism. He clearly states that the Proud Boys will be protecting patriots by infiltrating antifa groups by “dressing like them to protect us.” Underlined in green, “… any violence that breaks out… will be started by antifa members and patriots defending themselves.” Uhhhh, question. How will it be possible to differentiate antifa members from infiltrators in riot drag? Will there be clothing codes? Colors? Ali has stated that God “gave” him the color orange in December 2019, and that it would have special significance in 2020. I’m sure Madamn Speaker would agree…

Speaking of wardrobe codes, I mentioned in Part I that the flag Ashli Babbitt was wrapped in that fateful day could very well have been provided to her as a “tag”. There were two other women who were approached as well {allegedly}, each equipped with a flag cape to drape. Was Ashli set up? Did somebody give her that flag to mark her, move her forward, and set her up to be murdered?

Who’s the guy in the black jacket next to her?

Here is what Pelosi tweeted approximately one hour after Babbitt was shot:

No mention of the shooting some claim she herself helped orchestrate? It’s been confirmed that Lt. Michael L. Byrd was the shooter, and that he was wearing some very special jewelry that had been gifted him (accessories such as… oh I dunno… say a bracelet or a lapel pin… can sometimes serve as a means to transmit messages or denote alliances). This is the same Byrd who left his Glock-22 unlocked in a Capitol Building bathroom in 2019, bragging that he would be spared consequences because of his rank as lieutenant. He carried that same untouchable attitude with him up the steps of that same Capitol Building, and was cleared of all charges for shooting a young, unarmed veteran purposely and deliberately. To quote one “protester” who was on the scene:

The word “protestor” is in quotes because the person making these statements was none other than John Earle “JaydenX” Sullivan in a Rolling Stone interview.

Who cleared Officer Byrd of murder charges? Who has the power to make that decision? Real Clear Investigations reported Byrd’s identity. For its evidence, RCI noted, “In a little-noticed exchange, Byrd was cited by the Acting House Sergeant-at-Arms during a brief discussion, of the officer who shot Babbitt at a February 25 House hearing. Both C-SPAN and CNN removed his name from transcripts, but CQ Transcripts, which according to its website provides the complete word from Capitol Hill exactly as it was spoken, recorded the capitol official Timothy Blodgett referring to the cop as ‘Officer Byrd’. His name is clearly audible in the videotape of the hearing.” Whoopsies! Two months later, Timmy go bye-bye. Pelosi swears in the first black House Sergeant, retired NATIONAL GUARD General William Walker. Hmmmmm…….

If you’re some little Grover Dill toadie getting a percentage of Lumpy’s table scraps, ask yourself a question. Rather than accusing a fully vetted, fully registered candidate for the United States Senate of soliciting unlawful campaign donations? Try asking your chunky chief if he’s garnering – or has garnered – donations under the identity “Professor” Matt Couch. Or “Mayor” Matt Couch, or Lieutenant Lumpy Loveseat. If he is not legally registered as a candidate, your portly pit boss is the one breaking the law. Scacco matto, scemos.

There is a lot to digest here, no pun intended.  I have just two questions to end with:

  1. Was Nancy Pelosi responsible for the direction of the “Insurrection”?
  2. Who were/are the bad actors involved? The Wannabes?  The PAYtriots? The InfilTRAITORS? The controlled opposition?

All I have written so far has been for the sole intent of exposing truth. I’m compelled to do so. It’s hard truth, and it totally blows when you realize people you really liked were just using true Patriots for their own selfish and nefarious purposes. This is not mine to judge, but there will be judgement. Righteous judgement, and soon. Own up. Repent.

Thank you all for continuing to stand with Jon in kindness and in truth. Your thoughtful sentiments in the prayer/encouragement section of our site are wonderful to read, and I know in my heart Doc McG would agree.

Time for these chumps to take their lumps, Pete Puma style… A whoooooole lotta lumps.

I’ll leave you with something very interesting I came across recently in my research. Here is a “commercial” for Sammy Silver Coin, brought to you by someone who calls herself “Nikki Z”. Remember, since “Santa” was booted from Twitter, she’s rebranded herself as Sammy the Squirrel, another pest of the order Rodentia. So (St.) Nikki joins us from the comfort of her garbage-strewn bed to extol the virtues of The Go Sammy Uh-huh Silver Coin. Horf. As you watch this cringefest, pay close attention to the voice. Does it sound familiar? Check out some of her other videos… What might you find???

P.S. All credit to @GubnaElectKimmy for “Lumpbotomy”.